I guess it’s finally time to admit one of the biggest reasons for my depression. Yes, I’ve always been depressed, and in the past i’ve found solace in my appearance.
I was a chubby and awkward kid once upon a time. But when I discovered crystal meth, I suddenly shed all my pounds and became a tall and slender person. Out of nowhere people started noticing me. People became attracted to me. This boosted my self esteem beyond words. But I was not smart when it came to the attention people gave me.
It was only a matter of time before my sexual misadventures got me into trouble. I was always happy when someone expressed a desire to have sex with me. It meant I was hot. But there was a punishment for it all: HIV.
Now I’m dependent upon pills, costly pills, I might add, to live. In order for me to have these pills I need to qualify each year as having no income. This means if I find a good-paying job, I can no longer get the medication I need to continue living. Since I’m already diseased, then I’m uninsurable. It’s a catch-22 of life-or-death proportions. I have to take these pills twice a day, and the side effects are wholly undesirable, but I guess they outweigh the effects of the disease if I didn’t take the pills at all.
The white, orange, blue and peach pills are what keep my HIV from getting worse. The big white pill in the center is to stop infections; it’s a low-dose of chemotherapy. The two small yellow pills are for my depression, and the three white pills are to counteract the side effects of the HIV medication, which cause me to throw up either from my mouth or that other orifice.
whyicut 